English And It's Curious Adventure

ENGLISH AND ITS CURIOUS ADVENTURES

One ambitious learner. Seven days of determination. And a language full of surprises.

Noman had a dream.

Not a small dream like buying a new phone, travelling abroad or becoming rich.

His dream was much more dangerous.

He wanted to speak fluent English.

Not ordinary English. Not classroom English. He wanted the kind of English that made people stop chewing, put down their tea cups and whisper, "Wow! His English is amazing!"

Unfortunately, English had other plans.

Day One: The Declaration of Independence

It all started on Monday morning when Noman watched a motivational video titled Speak English Fluently in Seven Days.

The speaker confidently announced, "If you want to improve your English, start speaking without fear. Don't worry about mistakes."

Noman paused the video.

He stood in front of the mirror, adjusted his collar and declared:

"From today, I am not speaking Urdu. I am only speaking English."

His younger sister, Hira, looked up from her phone.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Even with Mama?"

"Especially with Mama. We must develop an international environment at home."

Hira nodded sympathetically.

"All right. Best of luck."

Noman smiled confidently.

"Thank you for your cooperation."

Then he marched towards the kitchen.

"Mama! Where is my breakfast?"

His mother replied, "On the table."

Noman remembered his promise. He cleared his throat.

"Mother, where is my morning eating material?"

Hira almost dropped her phone.

His mother stared at him.

"What?"

"Breakfast, Mama. I am asking about breakfast."

"Then say breakfast!"

Noman shook his head.

"Mother, please don't interrupt my English development."

Hira whispered, "May Allah protect us."

And that was how Noman's international journey began.

Day Two: Lost in Translation

By Tuesday, Noman had developed a dangerous habit.

He translated everything.

Unfortunately, he translated words rather than meanings.

When his father asked him to bring the newspaper, Noman proudly replied:

"Father, I am bringing your daily news papering."

His father slowly lowered his glasses.

"Your what?"

"News papering."

"Just bring the newspaper, son."

"Yes, Father. I am coming with full speed."

He walked away with the confidence of a man who had just invented a new language.

His father looked at Hira.

"Is he studying English or recovering from something?"

Hira shrugged.

"Both, perhaps."

Later that afternoon, Noman entered the living room carrying a glass of water.

His mother asked, "Have you eaten?"

He replied, "Yes, Mama. My stomach is completely full of food."

His sister looked up.

"Brother, just say, 'I'm full.'"

Noman frowned.

"Why do you always interrupt my sentences?"

"Because your sentences need emergency treatment."

He ignored her.

His English journey was becoming difficult, but giving up was not an option.

Day Three: The Dictionary Attack

On Wednesday, Noman decided that ordinary English was no longer enough.

He needed impressive vocabulary.

He opened his dictionary and selected five words:

Furthermore.

Consequently.

Nevertheless.

Magnificent.

Absolutely.

He wrote them in his notebook and memorised their meanings.

By lunchtime, he was ready to use them.

His mother asked, "Would you like another chapati?"

Noman replied, "Furthermore, I would like another chapati."

His mother paused.

"Furthermore?"

"Yes, Mother. It means I want more."

Hira burst out laughing.

"Brother, you're not writing an essay. You're having lunch!"

Noman closed his notebook.

"One day, you will understand the importance of advanced vocabulary."

Hira nodded.

"Definitely. But first, let us understand the importance of breakfast."

Noman ignored her and continued studying.

He had a new mission: to use every impressive word at least once.

Whether the sentence needed it or not.

Day Four: A Wedding Opportunity🤣🤣🤣

On Thursday, Noman received some exciting news.

His cousin's wedding was approaching, and a few guests from abroad were expected to attend.

Noman immediately saw an opportunity.

This was his moment.

He would speak English with the guests and prove that he was no ordinary young man.

He spent the entire evening practising introductions.

"Hello, how do you do?"

"Fine, thank you. And you?"

"Where are you coming from?"

"What is your good name?"

Hira listened patiently.

Then she interrupted.

"Brother, why do you ask people their good name?"

"Because everyone has a name. Some names are good, some are bad."

Hira stared at him.

"Please stop."

He waved his hand.

"You are jealous of my progress."

She shook her head.

"I am just worried about the guests."

Noman paid no attention.

He had already planned his entire conversation.

He would introduce himself, discuss his education, talk about his ambitions and impress everyone with his vocabulary.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

At least, that was what he thought.

Day Five: The International Disaster

Friday finally arrived.

Noman wore a perfectly ironed suit, polished shoes and a confident smile. He had even purchased a small English vocabulary notebook.

Before leaving home, he stood in front of the mirror.

"Hello, Mr James. It's my pleasure to meet you."

"How are you doing?"

"Where do you belong?"

He stopped.

"No, no. Where are you from?"

He nodded proudly.

"Excellent. International level."

At the wedding hall, his uncle introduced him to a foreign guest.

"Noman, meet Mr James. He works in London."

Noman immediately extended his hand.

"Hello, respected sir! How do you do?"

Mr James smiled and shook his hand.

"Very well, thank you. And you?"

Noman's brain suddenly went blank.

He had practised this conversation seventeen times, but now his vocabulary had decided to take a holiday.

"I'm also... very welling, thank you."

Mr James blinked.

"Welling?"

Noman nodded confidently.

"Yes, sir. Welling. Very much."

Behind him, his cousin whispered to another cousin:

"He's not well. He's welling."

They both struggled to control their laughter.

Noman ignored them.

"I am Noman. I am very ambitious personality."

Mr James smiled.

"That's nice. What are your ambitions?"

Noman straightened his shoulders.

"Sir, I want to achieve a big success in my life. I am preparing for competitive examinations, and English is my favourite subject."

"Wonderful! So you must be quite familiar with English."

Noman's eyes lit up.

This was his moment.

"Yes, sir! I am very intimate with English."

Silence.

Mr James slowly raised his eyebrows.

His cousins exchanged looks.

One of them immediately turned away, pretending to check his phone.

Mr James politely asked, "You're... intimate with English?"

Noman nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, sir. We have a very close relationship."

His cousin nearly choked on his drink.

Another whispered, "Brother, please introduce yourself, not propose to the English language!"

Noman turned around.

"Why are you laughing? This is a very good sentence."

His cousin nodded with a serious face.

"Absolutely. A very emotional relationship."

The cousins burst into laughter.

Noman frowned.

"People don't appreciate educated conversation."

Mr James, however, was still smiling.

"Well, keep practising. You're doing well."

Noman immediately became cheerful.

"Thank you, sir. I am trying my level best to become a fluent speaker."

"That's great."

Noman continued, "Actually, I speak English daily with my family."

His cousin interrupted.

"Yes, sir. We are his daily victims."

Everyone laughed.

Noman gave him a warning look.

"Please maintain your English manners."

His cousin folded his hands.

"Sorry, Professor."

But Noman wasn't finished.

He wanted to make one final impression.

"Sir, I believe English is very important in our society. Without English, a person cannot become a successful personality. English is the backbone of our future, present and sometimes our past also."

Mr James laughed.

"That's quite a statement!"

Noman smiled proudly.

Then his cousin asked, "Brother, can you tell Mr James your favourite English word?"

Noman immediately replied, "Certainly!"

He opened his notebook, flipped through several pages and announced:

"Furthermore!"

His cousin nodded.

"Excellent. Now use it in a sentence."

Noman thought for a moment.

"Furthermore... I am going to eat chicken."

His cousin stared at him.

"Brother, how is furthermore connected to chicken?"

Noman looked confused.

"Because I want to add more information."

Mr James burst into laughter.

Even Noman couldn't help smiling.

Just then, the photographer announced that everyone should gather for a group photograph.

Noman saw another opportunity.

He turned towards his cousins.

"Everybody, please come in one line. Don't make a crowd of crowd."

His cousin laughed.

"Bro, just say line up!"

Noman waved his hand.

"Please don't disturb my English atmosphere."

The photographer raised his camera.

"Everyone, say cheese!"

Noman shouted:

"CHEESE IS VERY EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS!"

The photographer lowered his camera.

For three seconds, nobody spoke.

Then the entire group burst into laughter.

His cousin held Noman by the shoulder.

"Brother, honestly, your English journey is inspiring."

Noman smiled.

"Thank you."

His cousin continued, "Every sentence is a new adventure. Nobody knows where it will begin or where it will end."

The cousins laughed again.

This time, Noman joined them.

He was beginning to realise that perhaps he was not as fluent as he had imagined.

But he was certainly entertaining.

Day Six: The Humbling Lesson

On Saturday morning, Noman returned home with a wounded vocabulary and a slightly damaged confidence.

He threw himself onto the sofa.

Hira sat beside him.

"So, how was your international English performance?"

"Don't ask."

"Did Mr James understand you?"

"Of course."

"Did you understand him?"

Noman remained silent.

Hira smiled.

"Brother, tell me something. Why did you say you were intimate with English?"

Noman sighed.

"